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Worth Fighting For

If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be too cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

-Annie Dillard

It's not always going to make sense. I'm learning that consistency in relationships (of all kinds) is key to keeping them going. Inherently, this makes sense, but all too often we have a lot of trouble practicing it. It's not always easy to keep trucking along, especially if you're putting yourself out there, or putting something on the line (your heart, your emotions, your secrets, your time, etc.). And especially if it doesn't seem to be immediately reciprocated. With committed consistency usually comes uncertainty, and with uncertainty usually comes risk. But to really love, to really be loved, to really be known, we have to risk much. We have to put ourselves way out there. Further than what is comfortable. Further than what is logical. Maybe it won't always be worth it. But even for one success amidst a thousand failures, it takes risk. It takes work. It takes consistency. Be consistent today. I'm confident that when that one success reveals itself, it will be better than you could ever have dreamed.

Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn

I'm trying to think of as many things to update on as I can, but I'm sure I won't be able to think of very much.

-Saw Slumdog Millionaire last night. I think it lived up to (most of) the hype. Well shot, good music, interesting story, great love story. And how cute was the youngest Latika?? 

-I've had some trouble with my left shoulder for a few years. For a while, it was only a nuisance, but it's gotten to be much more bothersome in the last few months. Like I was telling a friend last night, I'm to the point where I just want a doctor to cut me open and fix whatever is wrong. I've heard a few different opinions on what's going on with it from a chiropractor, an orthopedists, a couple of general doctors, and my sweet mother (she's the best doctor she knows), but I'm sick of getting different answers and I'm sick of it hurting. Cut me open and take the bad out. Thank you.

-The Auburn women's basketball game was easily the best moment in Auburn sports in what has been a pretty bad senior year for me sports-wise. 12,000 people in Beard Eaves for a women's game was pretty impressive. And so is 20-0. I hope we can keep it going. Mark my words, if we make it to the Final Four, I'm going. 

-I'm sad to report that, as of Saturday, I am the only member of the "Porch House Crew" left in Auburn. I see this crew as Oldham, Stewart, Chase, Austin, Nathan, Tanner, and me (I guess Jay counts, but he won't read this). Stew left this weekend for a semester of studying abroad in Italy. This year just continues to get more and more strange. Where did all my best friends go?

-I've been spending a lot of time with GarageBand. It's been good to learn by doing, and to slowly become more and more comfortable with hearing my voice. 

-Like any college senior, the last few months have been filled with this question: "What are you doing after you graduate?" A couple of days ago, all of these conversations came to a head, and I had a bit of a personal crisis. I was sick of saying "I don't know!" I've been through the gamut of every possible idea...Boston, Seattle, Nashville, Birmingham, Boulder, Kenya, non-profits, teaching, charter schools, US Foreign Services, AIM, Teach for America, IJM, music. Nothing feels perfect. I don't feel any real pull to anything. No doors are opening. I'm frustrated. Actually, I'm way past frustrated. I know that most people in my position go through this. Don't tell me that. Don't tell me to just pray about it. I am. Don't tell me that I'll figure it out. I know that I will, eventually.

Last night, in my never-ending perusing of the World Wide Web, I came back to something that I've looked at a couple of times: The Peace Corps. I noticed that, after a year of having their people pulled out of Kenya after political strife and violence that originated in December of 2007, they're back. And that's exciting. I'm going to be looking into it much more. MUCH more. 

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

All of the preparations have been made. People have spent hours upon hours in front of their computer screens or televisions in order to get ready (catch up) for January 21st. The friends and family have been invited over. The Tivos have been set. Finally, the wait is over. 

Millions and millions of Americans will be in front of their flatscreens tonight, hoping to find out where the island has been moved to. Their questions are many. Why was Locke in the casket? And why were they referring to him as Jeremy Bentham? Is Jin really dead? How will the Oceanic 6 get back to the island? 

Even if one of these questions is answered tonight, there will likely be ten more once the final word pops up on that screen and we hear that familiar sound effect. Every commercial break, we'll look around at our friends, wondering what in the hell just happened, and what could possibly happen next.

It's official. LOST-mania is upon us.

Never has a show gripped American television audiences quite like LOST has since 2004. We all know the premise of the show, and we all know that, if one were to try to start watching tonight without any prior knowledge, they would be asking so many questions that they would miss most of the show. 

LOST fans are crazy. There are hundreds of websites and message boards devoted to the show. People like to come up with theories about where the plot is going next and about certain mysterious parts of the show like the Smoke Monster and Jacob. Fans are polarized about almost every character, but there are some who are universally hated. And in most cases, these characters are killed off. Take Ana Lucia Cortez for instance. I hated her, you hated her, pretty much everyone hated her. There was nothing to her character, and Michelle Rodriguez (why is she famous?) did a pretty crappy job of acting. From her introduction in Season 2 to her eventual demise later in the same season, I hoped that every episode I watched would be her last. 

Isn't it funny that we get so invested in a show that we hope for a character to be killed off? And that we get online and postulate what could and should happen in future episodes? We Tivo it. We watch it twice. We yell, we scream, we cry. We read reviews afterwards. LOST fans are crazy. I'm crazy about LOST. I've watched about 45 episodes in the last 2 weeks to get ready for tonight. My mind is full of Desmond's flashes and Claire's screams for her "BABY!!!!!!". Maybe I am crazy. Maybe we all are. But this show is good on so many levels. So let me enjoy my crush on Juliet. Let me enjoy the never-ending plot twists. Let me be the only one who doesn't really like Jack. Let me be obsessed with getting LOST.

In the New Year.

It's really tough to return to posting regularly after having been gone for so long. Internet access was shoddy, at best. Time became more and more precious after Christmas. Trips, friends, and festivities took up almost all of my time, but it was enjoyed.

Extended breaks that involve going home (Hoover) are increasingly tough as I get older and more disconnected from that place. Times are changing. Home reminds me of things past, and things that are no longer a part of my life. And "home" is a term that is changing meanings. Auburn feels more like home than Bluff Park. But Auburn doesn't always feel like home either. Home is where the people I love are. Yes, I love my mom and my grandmother, and it was excellent to be in their presence for a few weeks of laughter, good food, good talks, and relaxation. But my little brother, who I feel more and more disconnected with every day, was MIA for most of the break. Something about a girl in Tuscaloosa. And I love my older brother, sister-in-law, and beautiful niece and nephews. It was wonderful to play with them and hold Sam. I got to go with Stokes see Connie play with Red Mountain at Workplay, and that was an excellent night. My family is great, and I am thankful for them and love them and thank God for them. 

But home took a different shape over this break. I think this is cliche nowadays, but home is a mindset. I felt at home with 5 kids in our house on an otherwise lazy, low-key Christmas Day, but home was more evident in my friends in Nashville and Boulder, and most evident in my strong desire to get back to Auburn for what is my last semester of school. 

Nashville was great. I loved ringing in the New Year and my birthday with Auburn friends at a downtown establishment which I would otherwise never call "my kind of place". I loved seeing people in Nashville I haven't seen in a while. Boulder was great. It's a beautiful place. It was so good to see many of my friends from the Kenya trip. But I felt extremely disconnected from them, to be honest. It's a somewhat sobering thought to realize that you can still love people, but realize that you've all changed so much that you are nothing like them anymore. Not that it's bad or anyone's fault. Just something that happens, and it's hard to realize until you spend some time with them. 

The whole time, thoughts of Auburn had a tight grip on me. I was sick of festivities. Christmas, New Years, my birthday, and a huge reunion were all great, but I was ready for  it all to be over. I was ready to be in Auburn. I was ready to be home.

I'm home now. Life is back to normal. Not routine, just normal. Normal can be good sometimes. This is the beginning of the end of a quite interesting chapter of my life. Here's to having even more fun, and making even more memories, than I've made in the last 3 1/2 years. Let the final laps of this race begin. And let the location and details of the next race reveal themselves soon. 

"Veil their faces to the presence..."

Let all mortal flesh keep silence

and with fear and trembling stand.

Ponder nothing earthly-minded,

for with blessing in His hand,

Christ our God to Earth, descended,

our full homage to demand.

King of kings, yet born of Mary,

as of old on Earth he stood,

Lord of lords, in human vesture,

in the body and the blood;

He will give to all the faithful

His own self for heavenly food.

Rank on rank the host of heaven

spreads its vanguard on the way,

as the Light of light descendeth

from the realms of endless day,

that the powers of hell may vanish

as the darkness clears away.

At His feet the six-winged seraph,

cherubim, with sleepless eye,

veil their faces to the presence,

as with ceaseless voice they cry:

Alleluia, Alleluia

Alleluia, Lord, most high.

-Liturgy of St. James

Inspired.

Yesterday morning I was awoken by my grandmother standing next to my bed, quietly trying to wake me up, yet also trying to not disturb my slumber. She always acts this way... forceful, yet subtle. A gentle soul, never wanting to encroach on me or my goings on. As an adjective to describe her, "selfless" does not even come close. 

8:00 AM at my house usually means very little. My mother is taking advantage of this time in her life. She has trouble sleeping as it is, so I don't normally expect her to be up. My younger sibling is a night owl, always being social, or the life of the party, usually both. I like to think that getting up early while home for the holidays is a good idea. In practice, however, it rarely happens. But Meme is always up by 7. Making coffee (for us), although most of the coffee the day before got poured out. Sugar, spoons, cups, and travel mugs all set out. Reading the paper, then leaving the Sports section on top when she's done, because she knows that's where I go first. Making sure the kitchen is spotless, even if she had already done so the night before. Every dish clean. Trying to be as quiet as possible, so as to not wake the rest of us late sleepers. She always apologizes for being loud, even though I never hear her. 

Meme woke me yesterday to tell me that her brother, my great uncle, needed some help, and would be there in an hour to pick me up. No details, but I always know what this means. Harold has been building brick mailboxes, along with doing other brick and stone work, around Birmingham for around 12 years (after retiring from working for the US Postal Service). He's old. I would guess around 86. He has no business doing what he does. He doesn't need the money. He's had a stroke and hurt himself multiple times the last couple of years. He's hard of hearing. He's a terrible driver. But yesterday he finished his 580th mailbox. He often needs help lifting large cement blocks that go on top of the mailboxes he usually builds. You've probably seen many around Birmingham. If my brother or I are home, he comes calling. He would do it by himself if he could, but it's just not possible. Yesterday was no different. We lifted two huge cement blocks onto the top of his newest creation. Even with a third person's help, it was tougher than its ever been. He's not getting any younger. And I'm not the strongest guy around. But we got it done. Just like always. 580 mailboxes completed, and I guarantee you as long as he is alive he won't quit. 

What an inspiration these two older relatives are. And how lazy they make me feel! 86 and 80 years old, still work regular jobs. When Meme isn't working, she's always DOING something. Always. She stays up late. She gets up early. Cooking, cleaning, reading, working in the yard, visiting her widowed friends in nursing homes who have little family. She rarely relaxes. She never stops. Harold works outside, whether in the 100 degree heat or the 25 degree winters, 6 days a week. He still collects aluminum cans to take and exchange for money. Money he doesn't need. He pays me $20 every time I help him, which is ridiculous for the amount of work I do (although I might deserve that much for daring to ride in his truck with him!). In other words, he's giving. He's selfless.

Two extremely hard working, extremely selfless individuals. Both of whom probably have no business doing the things they do. But they're Nalls. There are a total of 7 kids. They're all this way. Hard-working. Selfless. Inspiring. My mom and I often joke that the Nalls are going to live forever, because despite almost all of their spouses having died (sometimes more than one spouse), they have all lived. And besides one who's in a nursing home, they are all active and busy. Compared to them, my sleeping until 10:00 AM and sitting around the house watching sports all day during my "break" from school is embarrassing. It's obvious that God put them in my life to give me something to work towards. To aspire to. I'm constantly being inspired to aspire. 

Best of 2008 in Music, Part 2

Albums I never thought I’d say I like:

Nine Inch Nails: The Slip

-Maybe I just never even heard them to give them a chance, but this album was nothing like I imagined it would be. I enjoyed it a good bit.

Kanye West: 808s and Heartbreak 

-He's the most self-absorbed person in show business, in my opinion. And I don't know what I think about his new affinity for using Auto-Tune when he sings, because on SNL last week he was out of tune a LOT. Despite all of that, this is pretty cool stuff. 

Albums that I probably would have liked more had I had more time with them:

The Airborne Toxic Event: (Self-titled)

MGMT: Oracular Spectacular (Bobby Parker loves this)

Black Kids: Partie Traumatic

Deerhunter: Microcastle

Delta Spirit: Ode to Sunshine (Can’t stop listening to this…probably would have been top 10)

The Gaslight Anthem: The ’59 Sound

Good Old War: Only Way to Be Alone (Same as Delta Spirit)

Newton Faulkner: Hand Built By Robots

The Hold Steady: Stay Positive

I’m From Barcelona: Who Killed Harry Houdini?

Jose Gonzalez: In Our Nature

LCD Soundsystem: Sound of Silver

Nada Surf: Lucky

Katie Herzig: Apple Tree

The Killers: Day & Age (This one might be too big/much for its own good.)

William Fitzsimmons: The Sparrow and the Crow

No Age: Nouns

Working for a Nuclear City: Businessmen and Ghosts

And now, my top 30 favorite albums of 2008 (Keep in mind, there are probably plenty that I haven't even heard. That's why I use the word "favorite" instead of "best". Who am I to say what is best?)

30) She and Him: Volume 1

            -This had to be on the list because of my new affinity for Zooey Deschanel (one half of this duo with popular guitarist M. Ward). I’m developing quite the crush. I need to see Yes Man.

29) Kathleen Edwards: Asking For Flowers

            -Saw her perform at Workplay last spring, and really liked her sound. Good little album from the Canadian singer/songwriter.

28) The Whigs: Mission Control

            -Good ol’ Athens, Georgia rock and roll. 

27) Sandra McCracken: Red Balloon

            -Not as good as her last one, Gravity/Love, but nonetheless a good one. I love hearing Derek Webb doing background duties, and her version of The High Countries, a song she wrote about the CS Lewis book The Great Divorce that Caedmon’s Call originally recorded, is really moving.

26) Jon McLaughlin: OK Now

            -This one is almost a disappointment for me, but I think I just expected too much. And after seeing him perform live twice, no amount of disappointing albums could convince me that this man doesn’t have something special. 

25) Ryan Adams: Cardinology

            -Probably couldn’t put out a bad one if he tried. 

24) My Morning Jacket: Evil Urges

            -Weird stuff, but good stuff. One of America’s best young bands.

23) Gnarls Barkley: The Odd Couple

            -Danger Mouse is a genius.

22) Dave Barnes: Me and You and the World

            -I thought this one was going to be disappointing for the first few months after its release. But now I think I get it, and for it being only his first album on a label, he’s got a long career ahead of him. Probably has a career in comedy as well. Best of all, John Mayer likes him. 

21) Panic at the Disco: Pretty. Odd.

            -I shouldn’t like this band. But this album is just plain fun. Lush arrangements and fun punk harmonies.

20) Death Cab for Cutie: Narrow Stairs

            -Another band everyone loves to either love or hate. Little bit of a rockier edge to this one, but I enjoyed it much.

19) The Black Keys: Attack and Release

            -Bluesy rock. Produced by Danger Mouse. They have a very "throwback" sound to them. Gotta love it.

18) Kings of Leon: Only By the Night

            -Not as reckless as their older stuff, but this is still a great album. Sex on Fire is one of the best songs of the year.

17) Ray Lamontagne: Gossip in the Grain

            -Another solid release from the man with my favorite voice in all of music. I like to see that he’s developing his sound and trying different things.

16) Gabe Dixon Band: (self-titled)

            -Likeable piano pop. Gabe can play the crap out of the piano and has a deceptively powerful voice.

15) Fleet Foxes: (self-titled)

            -3-part folk harmonies that sound like they were recorded in a racquetball court. Never heard anything quite like this.

Favorite songs: White Winter Hymnal, Ragged Wood

14) TV on the Radio: Dear Science

            -One of the hardest bands out there for me to understand, but I still like this album a lot. Don’t even know how to describe it.

Favorite songs: Halfway Home, Golden Age

13) Mates of State: Rearrange Us

            -New to this husband and wife piano-based duo. Fun harmonies. Fun music.

Favorite songs: The Re-Arranger, Get Better

12) Sigur Ros: Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaus         

   -Icelandic jibberish lyrics. Lush arrangements. This one is definitely a step in a different direction. There’s even a song in English!

Favorite songs: Ara Batur, Festival

11) Act of Congress: Declaration

            -More Birmingham goodness. Bluegrass meets pop. A poor man’s Nickel Creek.

Favorite songs: The Nature of Things, The Well

10) John Mayer: Where the Light Is

            -John Mayer doing what John Mayer does best. Playing the heck out of a guitar. I love that this concert featured all three facets of John’s “game”: an acoustic set, a set with the John Mayer Trio (which showcases his blues chops), and a full-band set. I will say that I’m a little sick of hearing about JM’s take on the Tom Petty classic Free Fallin’. It's good, but the people most obsessed with it have probably never even listened to another Tom Petty song in their life. 

Favorite song: In Your Atmosphere

9) Punch Brothers: Punch

            -This is Chris Thile’s (of Nickel Creek fame) band. The are pushing the envelope of bluegrass. The highlight and main focus of this album is the 42-minute, four movement chamber suite for bluegrass instruments called “The Blind Leaving the Blind”. I’ve never heard anything like it, that’s for sure.

Favorite song that’s not part of “TBLTB”: I Know You Know (actually, it’s a bonus track, but it’s excellent)

8) Ari Hest: 52

            -This one isn’t really an “album”. After leaving his record label, Ari decided to put out a song every week in 2008, and dubbed the project 52. Most of these songs are recorded on his own laptop, in his apartment or on the road somewhere in a hotel. Often times he will send the songs to his friends to add electric guitars, drums, bass, and others instruments, but many of them have just been Ari and a guitar. I think out of 50 songs so far, there has only been one that I didn’t even appreciate. I’d say 45 out of 50 have been really good songs, which is quite an accomplishment. He plans to take a fan vote of the best ones and release an album of the most popular 12 re-mastered tracks.

My favorites: Sky Blue, Erica, What Story I Am On, Making the Move, Never Look Back

7) Coldplay: Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends

            -I know a lot of people want to hate Coldplay, and others want to hate this newest album because it’s a lot different. But for me it’s a HUGE step in a great new direction. It’s hard to ignore that this is a great album.

Best songs: Lovers in Japan, Violet Hill, Death and All His Friends

6) Wild Sweet Orange: We Have Cause to be Uneasy

            -The Birmingham-based band who I never wanted to give a chance has knocked me off my feet with their debut major-label album. So much EMOTION on this one. I think the lead singer, Preston Lovinggood, went to Hoover High, too. Maybe we’ll finally have a famous alum who isn’t a fledgling athlete or former MTV star wannabe.

Best songs: Ten Dead Dogs, Tilt, Aretha’s Gold

5) Andrew Peterson: Resurrection Letters, Volume 2

            -Again, I’ve dedicated a long post to this album in particular. Again I will say, Andrew Peterson is a poet in a musician’s body. Love this album, love his other albums.

Favorite song: Don’t Give Up On Me

4) Matthew Perryman Jones: Swallow the Sea

            -MPJ’s first album, Throwing Punches in the Dark, is probably my favorite album of the last 3 years, so I had high hopes for this one. It fortunately didn’t really disappoint. The songs are bigger in their production, but there’s still something about MPJ’s voice and songwriting that gets me. There are some artists that just seem to have an “it” that draws me in, and he has that. I long for more people to hear his music, because everyone I’ve introduced him to loves it.

Favorite song: Feels Like Letting Go

Song to get acclimated: Save You

3) Frightened Rabbit: The Midnight Organ Flight

            -Frightened Rabbit is a Scottish indie rock band that I was introduced to earlier this year, soon after this album came out. I was drawn in by their song My Backwards Walk and its repetitive ending line, “You’re the sh*t and I’m knee deep in it”. Vulgar? Maybe so. But catchy? Unfortunately yes. And just wait until you hear Keep Yourself Warm. That line has nothing on some of the subject matter in that song. But still, I love it. The best word I can think of to describe this band is “reckless”. And the lead singer’s voice is just so damn cool. I bet their live show is outstanding.

Favorite song: Good Arms vs. Bad Arms

Song to get acclimated: Old Old Fashioned

2) Ben Shive: The Ill-Tempered Klavier

            -I’ve already had a lengthy post about this one, but after hearing Ben perform one of these songs live the other night, it reminded me of just how much I love this album. He was already one of my favorite producers and session musicians, having worked with Dave Barnes, Matt Wertz, Andrew Peterson, Jill Phillips, Derek Webb, and others, but now he can be called one of my favorite singer-songwriters. The piano-based songs are catchy and fun, but with much underlying sentimentality. New favorite part of the CD: the bass line on Out of Tune.

Favorite song: She Is the Rising Sun

Best song to get acclimated: Out of Tune

1) Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago

            -What can I say about this album that hasn’t already been said? Justin Vernon, under the moniker of Bon Iver (a purposeful misspelling of the French for “good winter”) has created a masterpiece, and he did it cooped up in a cabin. This is not your mom’s “guy and a guitar” folk album though. The two months Vernon spent clearing his head in the Wisconsin wilderness produced this nine-song beauty that features him singing in a weird falsetto, turning himself into a lush choir on many tracks, and playing seemingly random percussion craziness on a few songs. But somehow he’s managed to make something that has caught my attention and hasn’t let it go since May. Most of the songs on the album are sad, but all of them are poignant in their own way. Metaphors that I don’t always understand. Stories that don’t seem like they could have really happened, yet for some reason I believe that they did. I have a fear that this could be a one-hit wonder type of act, but he nailed this one. May not be for everyone, but it got me.

Favorite song: re:stacks

Best song to get acclimated: Skinny Love

So, there are mine. What are yours? What did I miss out on this year? And feel free to tell me if you hate any of those albums that I liked. And definitely check them all out if you're looking for something new or are just curious. I know I tend to have musical taste that is pretty schizophrenic, but most of all, I appreciate someone who is obviously talented and is obviously MUSICAL. 

2008 Music Lists, Part 1

So this is going to be a big one, in terms of length. I figure that's OK because I only post once a week anyway. And I want to get it out of the way in one post for all of you who don't care about what music I listen to, that way I don't stretch it out into 4 or 5 posts and lose more of that huge readership I carry. So, without further ado, I give you my music picks (and misses) of the year 2008. It's been a pretty good year for music. Maybe not quite as good as last year in some ways, but also better in others. 

(EDIT: After careful consideration, I've decided to do this in two parts. Sorry music haters.)

First, the best Albums that weren’t from ’08, but that I discovered some time this year:

Fernando Ortega: The Shadow of Your Wings

Andrew Bird: Armchair Apochrypa

The Avett Brothers: Emotionalism

Brooke Fraser: Albertine

Dario Marianelli: Atonement Soundtrack (Check out this movie too...one of my favorites)

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova: The Swell Season

Jars of Clay: Good Monsters (after a few bad albums, they're BACK)

Matt Nathanson: Some Mad Hope

Manchester Orchestra: I'm Like a Virgin Losing a Child

Menomena: Friend and Foe

Over the Rhine: Drunkard's Prayer

Patrick Watson: Close to Paradise

Spoon: Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga

The Weepies: Say I Am You

Travis: The Boy With No Name

My Favorite EPs:

Matt Pond PA: The Freeep

            -I think they’ve been having some personnel troubles, so I wasn’t expecting any new stuff for a while. But then they all of a sudden put this free EP on their website, and it’s really good stuff. Thanks to Austin for turning me on to what has become one of my very favorite bands.

Jon Foreman: Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall

            -I know some of these were actually released in ’07, but I like to think of them as a 2008 project. Great acoustic songs from the lead singer of Switchfoot. Also, Jon is releasing an album with Sean Watkins from Nickel Creek (as Fiction Family) in January, and I’m REALLY looking forward to that one.

Derek and Sandra: Ampersand

            -My favorite musical married couple (besides my own brother and his wife) released a little EP of duets this year that is really great.

Andrew Osenga: Letters to the Editor, Vol. 2

            -Rules were: one electric guitar per song, no personnel but Andy (except his wife on Canada), and the song ideas came from fans. I liked Volume 1 better, but this one is still great.

Coldplay: Prospekt’s March

            -Wasn’t expecting much out of this one, but it turned out to be really really really really really good. The previously unreleased songs probably wouldn’t have fit on Viva la Vida (the album whose sessions they came from), but they are still excellent songs and I’m glad Coldplay released them. 

Biggest Disappointments:

Ben Folds: Way to Normal

-Nothing about this album did anything for me. Such a huge failure after the beauty of Songs for Silverman.

Bebo Norman: (Self-titled)

-This one just doesn't work for me. It's an attempt at being too commercial, and is such a huge departure from the Bebo that I grew up loving that I can't get into it at all. It seems like he's going to be doing this sort of thing for the rest of his career, so I guess I ought to just get used to it, because he'll always be one of my favorites ever.

Brooke Waggoner: Heal for the Honey

-I liked this one at first, but it just never drew me in to where I wanted to listen to it more than just a couple of times. I think she's immensely talented, and it's not that I think this is a bad album. I just don't like it near as much as her original EP, Fresh Pair of Eyes.

The Dears: Missiles

-Again, I loved their last one, but I don't get this one yet. Maybe it will grow on me. 

Matt Wertz: Under Summer Sun

-Failure. It's his first major label release, and he basically re-released mostly old songs with little changes in production, and added 4 VERY average new ones. He's got nothing on Dave Barnes. 

Girl Talk: Feed the Animals

-Cool idea, probably fun in a live setting. But splicing rap songs and others popular songs isn't for me. Sorry Emily Stewart. 

Most overrated album:

Vampire Weekend: (Self-titled)

-This is one that all the cool kids seem to love, and is probably on everyone's top 10 list. But it doesn't do it for me at all. 

From a Distance

My final year at Auburn has been markedly different than the past three. This is true for many reasons, but one of the main ones is my decision to end my AU Singers career. This was not an easy decision last spring. I was nervous about what I would do with all of my time. I knew that, no matter how much I tried to keep up with those Singers friends, it wouldn't be easy and I probably wouldn't see much of them. But I knew that the decision was the right one. My heart wasn't in it. I hated rehearsal. I wasn't having fun. 

Throughout this semester, I have been building upon my Singers-less life slowly. First, it was the first Tuesday of class, when at 3:30 PM, I wasn't in Goodwin rehearsing. It was such a strange feeling, but it was great. Next, I attended rehearsal a few times as a mere spectator. Again, a weird feeling (and they sounded awesome that first day I went back), but I still knew I had made the right decision. Sounds of Auburn in November brought the first time I had seen them actually perform this year. I, honestly, was kind of underwhelmed, and still didn't regret my decision to not be in the group. But this past Sunday was the ultimate test. Fall Show. This is what the entire semester builds up to for an Auburn University Singer. This is big time, the culmination of three and a half months of work.

To be honest, my expectations were not very high. I knew it would be entertaining, but I didn't expect what I got. They were incredible. They sounded great. They looked great. The solos were great. The entire show was just really, really impressive. They exceeded my expectations by far. I enjoyed it so much that I went back Monday night, and it was even better. It is a really weird feeling being on the other side of it: not having gone through all the work, not being SO tired after 5 shows in 3 days, not having a week full of rehearsals the week before the show to go along with a full load of schoolwork. But, regardless of it all, I still don't regret it. My time was up. I got out at the right time. I am so proud of all of my friends who are still there. They did a wonderful job, moving me to fist pumps, tears, and huge smiles many times. They know that I'm their harshest critic, and they impressed that harsh critic, very much so. 

Behold the Lamb of God

I've been wanting to write this post for months, but I waited until it was more relevant. Today I am here to tell you about the very thing that changed Christmas for me. Before Christmas '07, I don't think I ever really "got it". It was just a time for stress, presents, and food. Sometime in the middle of '07, I purchased a copy of Andrew Peterson's album Behold the Lamb of God. I had always been a big AP fan, and knew that this CD existed, but for some reason had always shied away from it. I never thought I would like it for some reason. The song titles were weird. It was a Christmas album. I never thought Christmas could be cool. But I have never been more wrong. Not only do I have a huge appreciation for Christmas music now, but this album turned out to easily be the best Christmas album I own, and probably in my top 5 albums I've ever heard. 

BTLOG is more than your average Christmas album, however. And it's also not your run-of-the-mill Andrew Peterson album. This is a collaborative effort, on so many levels. It features many artists who are among my favorites (and also many other musicians who I love), including Derek Webb, Jill Phillips, Andy Gullahorn, Ben Shive, Andrew Osenga, Sandra McCracken, Fernando Ortega, Ron Block (from Union Station), Randall Goodgame, Laura Story (she wrote "Indescribable"), Gabe Scott, and others. 

The album takes a path through the Christmas story, albeit a strange path. But only strange in its completeness. The first 4 or 5 songs focus on Old Testament stories, setting the scene for the coming of our Savior as the people long for Him. The rest of the songs deal with His birth. Unmistakably Biblical words fill these songs. As usual, Andrew Peterson has it together lyrically. There are way too many passages to even quote one, but the highlights for me are the final declaration in "So Long, Moses" and basically all of the remarkably beautiful "Labour of Love". The liner notes have references to the actual verses/passages, so if you decide to get this, try to get the actual CD. 

Musically, it's excellent as well. Lots of variety, a couple of instrumentals ("O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" might the only recognizable song on the album), and many, many beautiful and memorable moments. Ben Shive's string arrangements are killer, as always. 

I can sit and talk about this album all day, because it means that much to me. I don't think I really had a very good grasp on the Christmas season and what it means to me as a Believer until I heard and really digested this album. It was the impulse of a change in me last year that has carried over to this year, and hopefully will continue until I leave this world. We ought not take for granted how important this Advent season is. 

Like I said, I can't recommend BTLOG enough. Please, please, please, please find a way to get this album. I can almost guarantee that it will change Christmas for you. I know that it has for me, and others in my life. If you do get it, let me know. It really means a lot to me, and it will mean a lot more to me to know that it had an impact on someone else.

Lastly, as an awesome bonus, Andrew Peterson and Friends tour this album every Christmas, and will be in Birmingham on December 15th performing at Oak Mountain Presbyterian. They'll also be in Huntsville the night before, and in Nashville at the Ryman on the 18th (if none of those three work for you, check here for the rest of the dates). I saw it last year and it was incredible, obviously. At these concerts, they go through in an "in-the-round" style and each play a couple of their own songs, then take a break, and play BTLOG from beginning to end without stopping. Peterson feels that this is how it is supposed to be heard, and I totally agree. It fits together perfectly. It needs all of the parts. If you can, try to make it to one of these concerts. I'll be attending the one in Birmingham, and probably the Nashville one as well. You're welcome to sit with me. You WILL NOT be disappointed. 

"From you, O Bethlehem, Small among Judah,

a Ruler will come, Ancient and Strong".

-So Long, Moses (from BTLOG)

sharing.

this weekend, while at home, i got to go to oak mountain presbyterian church. i may have talked here before about how much i enjoy this church (i feel certain that i have). i took my new birmingham buddy chase along with me to the 10:45 service, expecting to worship through song and a scripture-based, thought-provoking, extremely challenging message from bob flayhart. i got wonderful music, but instead of bob's message, the plans for the service were a little bit different. bob announced that today there would be a time of sharing. a time to give an encouraging word to the body of believers. a time to share joys and struggles with a room full of people who are just as broken and just as pitiful and just as sinful as the next person. it was something i didn't and wouldn't expect in a church so large. but it was really beautiful. i heard the story of a woman struggling with breast cancer. a man shared how his ten month old daughter, who is 100% deaf, is going to receive cochlear implants, after it looked for a while like this wouldn't get to happen because of an insurance mix-up. i heard of a marriage that had ended in divorce after the husband had gotten caught up in some bad stuff, only to have the Lord bring them back together again to re-marry. these stories of real, broken, struggling people are such an encouragement. on one hand, it makes me appreciate how good i have it... that i don't have some terminal illness or a daughter with an ailment she could be stricken with for the rest of her life. but on the other hand, it shows me that, when i struggle with things and feel really alone in that sadness and struggle, i'm not alone. everyone has demons. and we need others at these times of trial. we are necessarily called into community as followers of Christ. it's so easy to forget that. we NEED each other. desperately. 

bob made the comment many times during the time of sharing that "our church is a safe place". while i don't necessarily have a "church" home, my friends are my church. these believers are my safe place. how frequently i forget this. 

a place of rest and vision.

i got to spend this weekend up in the Appalachian foothills on Chandler Mountain, which is home to Gallant, Alabama and the one and only Camp Sumatanga. it was nice to see plenty of old friends, most of which i only see once (or twice, now) a year. the best part about the weekend was that we didn't really DO anything. it involved a lot of board games, random conversation topics, and a ton of laughter. 

one thing i did DO this weekend was take some pictures with a good camera. dugger brought her canon SLR and i, once again, was reminded how much i love taking pictures with a good camera. it seems as though everyone and their mom is a photographer these days, and i don't think i can really afford to spend $500+ on a camera right now, but i really enjoy it a lot. i posted some on facebook...most of those were taken by dugger herself, but i took a few and edited them all. 

so after a weekend of rest and vision (and laughter), i am home in birmingham for a week. normally these trips home are good in ways, and not so good in others. i usually get bored easily, which causes me to think too much (see boy meets girl post). but this break will be filled to the brim. i have those three papers i mentioned, a new nephew to see, thanksgiving with my family (and special guest chase fergy-ferg), and other friends i want to spend some time with. i'm thankful for this break, and thankful for birmingham. it really is a great city. and having some college friends move back here makes me feel like, if i had too, i could live her for some amount of time after college and not be absolutely miserable. 

but boston is looking like a real possibility.

i just found out chris thile's band punch brothers is playing at the OPAC in january. that's huge news. if you're in auburn, you should go with me.

i hope everyone has a great thanksgiving break, whatever that means for you. may it be filled with rest, vision, laughter, and good food. and be thankful for what we have. we are blessed beyond measure. 

updates.

i don't have any elaborate post planned out tonight, but just wanted to update on a few things:

-sam, my 4 day old nephew, was put in the ICU today for some type of breathing problem. i don't know a whole lot about what's going on, other than my mom said that it happens a lot with babies. but still, scary. if you pray, please do so.

-today, i received my early christmas present that i bought for myself. a new macbook. i'm obviously extremely excited about it. that's really all there is to say. once you go mac, you never go back.

-today was, thank goodness, the last speech i have to give in public speaking. i know i shouldn't care at all about a stupid freshman core class, but i honestly think i got more stressed about that class this semester than any others.

-i'm really looking forward to the upcoming break, but unfortunately it will be filled with a good bit of school work, including papers for drs. johnson and widell on books that have yet to be read. but i am also excited to get to spend time with some of my auburn friends who now call birmingham home. 

-the situation discussed in "sunday storytime" has been somewhat resolved in practice, but it doesn't feel resolved in my soul. something is still off there, and i guess only time will fully heal that very real and very open wound. 

-recently i've been feeling drawn towards wanting to teach next year. maybe at a charter school or something similar. i know i don't really want to teach somewhere where it isn't appreciated. thoughts? 

i haven't done this in a while, but thanks for reading, those of you who consistently do. it means a lot when i hear that you guys read and enjoy this. it makes me want to keep writing, even though sometimes posts are lame like this one. you are all appreciated. 

third.

this morning, my brother and his wife gave birth to a new baby boy. sam bennett skellie. i don't have a weight or a picture yet, but i'll update when i know more. all i know is that mother and baby are doing fine, and that he looks like his brother and sister! 

exciting times. 

into the storehouse.

malachi 3: 9-12

"you are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me, the whole nation of you. bring the full tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. and thereby, PUT ME TO THE TEST, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing UNTIL THERE IS NO MORE NEED."

just as God tells Israel that they are robbing Him of His tithe in this story, we do it 2,000 years later. not just of our tithe, but of our hearts. we owe Him all of us, and we fail to sufficiently give ourselves to Him daily. as i heard it put tonight in a song, He is JEALOUS for us. that is beautiful. and in that verse above, He DARES Israel to not trust Him. it's the same way with us. He dares us to surrender to Him, just so He can be completely sufficient for our every need, desire, care, want, and fear. He's saying, "you have all this truth at your fingertips. all this knowledge about who I am. you know I am Good. you know I am the Giver of life, the Beginning and the End. I am in all things. all things happen and are because of ME. yet you do not trust Me. I DARE you to trust me. just try Me. see what happens. go ahead. I will bless you and lead you and help you so greatly and so sufficiently and so completely and so perfectly that you will have NO MORE NEED. None. try Me."

try Him. go ahead. pray, wait, and EXPECT Him to work. He will. He dares us to not believe that. 

disappointed.

tuesday night, a historic thing happened in our country. november 4th, 2008 will go down in the annals of history as the night that america changed, hopefully for the better. some have even said it was the day that the civil rights movement really "ended". or the real beginning of race reconciliation in the US. who knows if any of these bold statements are true, or will turn out to be true, but i think we can all agree, regardless of party lines or beliefs, that history was made, and it really was a beautiful thing. i thought BO gave an excellent acceptance speech, and i thought JM gave an equally impressive concession speech. i was impressed with the way he put down those who were booing and yelling in his less-than-impressive crowd of supporters. my disappointment in these JM supporters leads me to the real point of this post.

facebook statuses. regardless of whether we want to admit it or not, 99.9% of us have facebook accounts that we check pretty regularly, some more regularly than others. on tuesday night, as history was being made, it was tough to enjoy it after seeing the things people were saying on ol' FB. i was embarrassed to live in the south, and embarassed for a lot of these so-called facebook "friends". i wrote down many of these statuses and comments, so let me share just a few with you, as examples (imagine names behind each of these. i'm obviously not going to use names...that's not the point of this). on some, i will follow with a little bit of commentary, and maybe that will ruffle some feathers. we'll see. i'm not trying to, but this is just how i see things. i am a flawed, wretched sinner just as we all are):

"...can't wait for the socialist takeover."

          -i realize that BO's potential policies of "redistribution of wealth" may seem really scary to some. but to say that our country is going to become "socialist" is a reach. and guess what? campaign "promises" often do not come to fruition without serious and major overhaul. 

"...is scared for the country! i would leave and go somewhere else but i am going to have the shit taxed out of me now."

-i don't follow. is there a new "leave the country" tax in BO's plan? if there is, please correct me, and i'll also make sure not to leave the country.

"...says goodbye checks and balances."

-does a dem majority in the senate and house and a dem president REALLY mean the END of checks and balances? relax.

"...HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HUSSEIN!!"

-um, yes. our current president's last name is "bush". and i had no idea that presidential prowess was based on one's middle name. i mean, we've had presidents named millard and grover too. 

"...is moving to Europe because I refuse to live in a country run by the Anti-Christ."

-i'm still looking for BO's ten horns on his head, etc. if you still believe he's the anti-christ (or ever did, for that matter), then you have real problems. 

"...can I leave the country for the next four years?"

-sure. bye. watch out for that new "leave the country" tax though.

"...President is a muslem. his religion believes in doing away with the infadels. U have to be kidding me. This is America?"

-first off, the fact that you can't spell "Muslim" completely discredits your opinion. but, you obviously have a very small understanding of Islam. and BO as far as i can tell is a christian. he's allowed to have muslim friends. he's also allowed to have crazy friends with wild ideas (because we all have friends who are crazy), but that doesn't apply here. and america is not technically only a "christian" nation. yes, i'm a christian and i'm still allowed to say and think that. 

"...PALIN 2012!"

-do you really want a GOP elected in 2012? if so, then there couldn't be a worse choice. this must have been a democrat in disguise.

"...is wondering why am i going to struggle in school, work hard and become a nurse, if all the money I make is going to be taxed to randoms who don't deserve it?"

-stop listening to your daddy. it doesn't work that way. and while we're talking about the "randoms who dont deserve it", i'm pretty sure this person who wrote this is a believer. therefore, go read psalm 82:3 and acts 2:42-47 and get back to me. god's word doesn't teach capitalism. 

"...how much do you wanna bet obamma dosnt make it to the white house!"

-again, the spelling rules apply. but honestly, i think he could possibly be right, and i think that would be absolutely awful. and if you would think that were a good thing, i don't even know what to say to you. and don't say "no one would want our president to be killed!" i've heard it uttered, trust me. 

"...Get ready for a country dominated by illegal immigrants, homosexuals, rampant abortion, and oh yeah...people steal your hard earned money."

-i think i've covered all of this. i don't want to get into abortion. 

"...is hoping for a crazy white man with a rifle...where is Dick Cheney when you need him?"

-wow.

"...read Revalation 13."

-i did, and i don't get it.

"...he's going to reverse segregation. back of the bus, whitey."

-you've got to be kidding me.

i'll stop there, but there were more. oh, and just to address the many others that mentioned moving to europe or canada to avoid the "socialist takeover", do a little research and realize that THESE COUNTRIES ALREADY HAVE THESE "SOCIALIST" ECONOMIES! so, for the life of me, i can't figure out why you would want to move from our country which has a small chance of developing this system to a country that has already had this in place!?!

i think most of these comments stem from a lack of knowledge of the issues. they don't have any idea what the real policies are or any real understanding of our situation. they also need a HUGE dose of perspective. 95% of these people list themselves as christians on their facebook pages (yes, i checked). and i would direct them towards this video. john piper states perfectly how ridiculous it is that a christian would put so much hope in ANY candidate. in ANY human being. our Hope is in Christ alone. He is Sovereign, and He is GOOD. i love piper's point around the 5:10 mark in the clip. just watch it.

everyone just calm down. 

one thing i was not disappointed in this week was my roomie dan's choirs last night at their choir concert. i was incredibly impressed by his choirs, and also by eron's auburn high choirs. it's so great to see these men who are my friends, former classmates, and brothers in Christ up on stage doing what they love. being successful and affecting the lives of so many kids. great work kids, and great work friends. can't wait until the spring.

sunday storytime

boy meets girl. 

boy unexpectedly falls for girl.

boy has an incredible senior year of high school with girl (and others), falling in love with girl in the process.

boy and girl go to different colleges, and break up.

boy is miserable without girl, begs for her back, and gets his wish.

boy and girl have many more bumps in the road, but are generally happy and in love.

boy and girl are best friends.

boy gets to the point where he sees himself marrying girl.

boy and girl, however, have some issues between them that have been issues since the beginning.

boy tries to ignore them, but both boy and girl are what we like to call "strong-willed", and neither boy nor girl are easily swayed from their positions on the issues.

boy and girl are both immature.

boy finally realizes that, although he loves girl very much, and although he and girl are best friends, and although he can never see himself being so close to a person again, the relationship is not going to work.

boy breaks up with girl.

boy loves being single for a while, but soon realizes he might have made a mistake.

boy again tries to communicate with girl, but soon it is affirmed to him that he made the right choice by ending things, and communication ceases.

boy is very happy with being just "boy", living his life, preparing for his future, etc.

boy sometimes thinks about girl, wonders what she's doing, who she's dating, and how she is.

boy often wonders if girl has grown up yet. 

boy also knows he has a lot of growing up to do.

boy then finds out some information that makes him think less of girl, and more than anything, it upsets him, because he still has much love for girl, although he knows that girl is not THE girl for him.

boy wishes he never would have found out this information, because he's been thinking about it constantly, and wants these thoughts to go away, because he knows he made the right decision and that things are not going to change.

boy also somewhat desires to be friends with girl, but knows this is next to impossible.

boy wants girl to be happy, but also to grow up some and realize some things.

boy wonders sometimes if he is the reason that girl might still be making questionable decisions.

boy just wants to move on from the "girl" chapter of his life, but seems to still be having trouble. 

(to be continued...)

not forever but for real.

it's happening. my time at auburn is coming to an end.

today, i had my graduation/credit check with my academic advisor. everything is in shape for me to graduate in may. all i have to do is pass my classes. i knew most of this information already, but it's nice to have someone with authority tell me i'm right about it.

so what comes after that? who knows? kenya? boston? nashville? seattle? birmingham? (that's a lot of question marks). my life/thoughts/ prayers have mostly all been focused on this overwhelming, yet thrilling uncertainty. 

hopefully opportunities await. here's to capitalizing, following His will, and doing something i love. 

love is a good thing.

andrew peterson : resurrection letters, vol. II

 

i have been an andrew peterson fan for years, ever since his first album called carried along. after getting used to his somewhat nasal voice, i began to see and hear that this guy's gift was special. he wasn't just another nashville christian acoustic singer/songwriter. he was a poet in a musician's body. his songs and lyrics were unique. often in christian music, lyrics are either overtly christian (fernando ortega, shane and shane, other worship artists) or mostly symbolic (derek webb, caedmon's call, sara groves, etc.) this is somewhat of an overgeneralization, but just go with me here. andrew peterson lies somewhere in between. his lyrics are often of the symbolic variety, but they're always rooted in scripture. it's easy to tell that he is somewhat of a biblical scholar, along with being an incredible writer. i continued to follow his music, through albums such as love and thunder, clear to venus, and the far country, and was never disappointed. in fact, although love and thunder is probably my favorite AP album (sans the new one), i would say he continues to get better with each album. 

other fun facts about AP: he's in the middle of writing a series of fantasy novels, one of which has already been released. he works with many of my other favorite nashville artists, including andy gullahorn, ben shive, andrew osenga, gabe scott, and jill phillips. lastly, he is responsible for the greatest christmas album i've ever heard, which will get its own blog post in the not-too-distant future.

this new album, produced by ben shive and andy gullahorn, is another awesome effort from AP. the title is an interesting story. last year, around easter, AP was writing a series of writings for his website blog type thing, and they all centered around the resurrection. a fan wrote in saying that this would be a good idea for a concept album, and AP agreed. as he began writing the songs for this album, which all focus on the idea of Christ's resurrection, he realized that there was something that came before, hence the "volume 2" part. he plans to go back and complete volume 1 soon. 

the cd is full of highlights, but some of my favorite moments include the entire first song, called "all things new", the backup vocals on "don't give up on me" by don chaffer of waterdeep, andy gullahorn's discreet but awesome guitar solo on "all you'll ever need", a few fun drum fills by paul eckberg on "rocket", and finally the choir on "the good confession (i believe)", which was made up of fans from all over the country who came to nashville and recorded the part together one night in a church with AP. nothing cooler than getting to sing on one of your favorite artist's albums. i hate i couldn't make it up there for that. there are many other highlights. incredible lyrical passages, beautiful string arrangements (by ben shive), and cool harmonies galore. if you're a fan of good, scripturally-based, smart, tasteful music, check this album out. i really doubt you'll be disappointed.

also check out these sites:

www.andrew-peterson.com

www.squarepegalliance.net

www.rabbitroom.com

i have felt the holy fire of Love,

been burned by the holy fire of Love.

made clean by the holy fire of Love

-andrew peterson "don't give up on me"