weekend thoughts.

-i pretended to get started on LOST season 2 last night. finished season 1 over spring break. i only paid attention to one episode though, so i have a lot of work to do. however, the time spent conversing/relating with a new friend was well worth my attention. and the yuenglings were nice as well.

-justin timberlake's musical number on the ESPYs was pretty damn funny. look it up on the youtubes.

-i found out today that one of my kenyan friends, francis, is coming to america for a few months, and will be fairly close by, in north carolina. that's going to be really awesome.

-i'm only blogging because dan is making me. dan is a pretty cool guy. he's single, good-looking, has a kick-ass dog, teaches middle school choir, has his foot in a cast, loves mountain dew, supports barack obama, and is letting me live in his house this year. check out his blog on the right.

something rare.

anyone who has met me even once knows that i went to Kenya, and that my trip to Kenya was beyond life-changing. this blog is about maybe the most under-appreciated part of that trip, but the part that has been so important to me recently.



from top right: lee, sara, ryan kurz, becca, susannah, ryan farrell, ben, christi, anne, karli, (going down now) chelsea, me, karen, rachael, katy, elizabeth, brooke

these are the 17 people on the face of this earth that i feel closest too. that's a weird and bold statement, because i don't ever see any of these people (besides lee, my trusty roommate). let me tell you, though, i've never been surrounded with the type of encouragement and support as i am by some of these people. i've also never been more thankful for any group of people. these people are a glaring example of the Lord's love. these people are my family.

almost half of the team is on some other type of trip this summer, or doing something incredibly awesome. it makes me feel like a worthless little nothing, especially because i know that i don't belong here. ben, ryan, christi, and sara are in india working in leper colonies and in the streets of calcutta. anne is in mozambique. amy just returned from leading a trip to the amazon jungle in peru. rachael made a return trip to kenya on a medical trip with nursing school. brooke is interning with compassion international in colorado. katy and becca have both spent time as long-term missionaries since we returned from our trip. chelsea has spent time in africa this year, and is now doing work with YWAM and others in germany, romania, and moldova. wow.

how encouraging to know so many people heeding the call of our Savior!

recently, team india posted a really impressive video to their blog documenting parts of their trip so far. on my initial viewing, i had a huge, constant grin on my face, and was put in a good mood for the rest of the day. seeing these people and having all of those memories flowing back into my head of the time i had spent with them was incredible. two nights ago, during a long overdue conversation with rachael, the video was brought up again, and i got giddy! like, seriously giddy. in a way that i never get. then, probably an hour after that, i was talking to another friend about the same subject, and i had tears coming down my face (she doesn't know i was crying.....shhh). this was a year of built-up emotion coming to a head. i'm so thankful for it. God has been so good to me.

today is july 18. one year ago, i was in eburru, kenya. looking back into my journal from last summer, i see that on this date last year i spent time helping our cook, zelipha (who i had a crush on, mind you) and anne cook lunch, and spent some time at the eburru secondary school doing a small group with the kids there. i think i recall that as being a good day. i miss it, more than i've ever missed anything.

my kenya journal is a really cool thing. it's really tough to read at this point in my life, for a few reasons. and it's missing a week of info. but, i'll have to live with that decision. oh well. no regrets.

thanks for reading. comments are welcome. i LOVE reading them. seriously. comment. a lot. thanks.

help my unbelief.

four years ago at camp sumatanga (music and arts week), ken berg brought an arrangement of the hymn jesus, lover of my soul as one of the songs to be performed for the friday concert. besides the song being beautiful (more on that later), there was a little fun surprise on the cover that grabbed my attention. a small, abstract picture of Jesus wearing a crown of thorns. almost too strange to comprehend. my first thought was, "hey, that would be a cool tattoo." after camp, i made sure and kept a copy of that music close at hand, just in case.

fast-forward 2 1/2 years, to december 2006. the time finally came when i convinced myself i needed a tattoo. my mind immediately went to that picture on that piece of music. a week later, the picture was tattooed on the inside of my left wrist, never to leave that spot again for as long as i shall live.



i got addicted, as everyone seems to do, and a month later i had another tattoo, this time on the inside of my right forearm. it's the very last words of mark 9:24, which says "immediately the father of the child cried out and said, 'i believe, help my unbelief!" the story is a common one about our quite uncommon Savior, but this verse/phrase spoke to me in a huge way. it's sort of a strange thing to get tattooed on yourself, at first thought: "help my unbelief". but, if we're honest, i think we all, as believers, struggle with some sort of unbelief countless times every day. i mean, come on, many of the things we claim are crazy. and not only that aspect, but another big thing is my lack of trust in Him. i can say i believe stuff all day long, but am i really relying on God all the time for EVERYTHING? do i earnestly seek His guidance in every step i take (and every move i make... $1 to sting)? i definitely do not, as much as i should, and to me, that's unbelief. to Him, that's unbelief. plain and simple. therefore, i felt it warranted a constant reminder on my arm. as a bonus, i decided to do it justice and have it in greek, the original language of the new testament.

(edit: i tried to copy and paste the greek, but it didn't work right when i posted. sorry. check here, it's the last phrase.)

it reads something like "boh-ay-theh-o eg-o ho a-pis-tee-ah". i went back earlier today and tried an analyze the original a little more for a more literal meaning, but it pretty much means what it says: help my unbelief. aid my unfaithfulness.

it's crazy how permanent they are. i mean, they're gonna be there FOREVER. unless of course i want to pay a lot of money and go through a lot of pain to have it removed. and there are days that i regret them, but overall i wouldn't go back and do it differently.

and now i'm thinking about a third.

do you like tattoos? what's the coolest one you've seen? i'd love some feedback/ideas.

Jesus, Lover of my soul,
let me to Thy bosom fly,
while the nearer waters roll,
while the tempest still is high:
hide me, O my Savior, hide,
till the storm of life be past;
safe into the haven guide,
O receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none,
hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
leave, ah! leave me not alone,
still support and comfort me!
All my trust on Thee is stayed;
all my help from Thee I bring;
cover my defenseless head
with the shadow of Thy wing.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want;
mor than all in thee I find;
raise the fallen, cheer the faint,
heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name;
I am all unrighteousness;
false and full of sin I am;
Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found,
grace to cover all my sin;
let the healing streams abound,
make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art,
freely let me take of thee:
spring Thou up within my heart,
rise to all eternity.

forcing it.

i begin this post without a clear vision of what i want it to contain. i have no goal, nothing significant to write about, no soapbox, no updates on my cousin. i'm hoping that by the time i hit "publish post", i'll have enough content to develop a decent post.

i think i'll try the 'stream-of-consciousness' approach.

it's amazing how just seeing a picture of a certain ex can conjure up so many different feelings. first i feel anger. then nostalgia. then disgust and embarrassment. then sadness. then i laugh. then i get that really crappy feeling in the pit of my stomach. then, i come to delight, because i see that the Lord has brought me a long way, and i'm not all the way to the end of this journey that is getting over her, but He is faithful, and He made it evident that the situation was unhealthy and wrong, and i am thankful that i can still recognize that today. (that was QUITE the run-on sentence.)

let me tell you about a little gem called NoiseTrade. in a nutshell, it was started by derek webb, who had a crazy idea to give away his album "mockingbird"for free online. seems crazy, if you're trying to make money, but he ended up giving away 10,000 downloads, and it brought him a lot of exposure and new fans. so, he created NoiseTrade. it's a website where any musicians can upload their album/albums on the website, and people can download them for free (technically, for three e-mail addresses or you can pay whatever you want). so, check it out. get some free music. find some new artists to listen to/support. and you can ALWAYS put my e-mail down if you want to!

i still miss camp a lot.

football season is going to be great. war eagle.

i have nothing else. this was not successful. i'll post anyway.

marcstrong

i found out yesterday that my cousin marc has cancer. i honestly haven't talked to him in a long time, because i don't have a lot of contact with my dad's side of the family. but if my memory serves me correctly, he's going to be a senior this year at hoover and is 17.

i don't know a lot of details really, except that my brother was told that the cancer was in his leg and apparently in one of his lungs. i know that he has been going through chemo, and i think that he went home today. for how long, i don't know.

it's really frustrating to know that this is going on, but that i don't really have a good way to find out information. but then again, i'm glad i know about it at all, and i'm glad that i have faith in a Perfect Creator who's hand is all over this situation. i can only have confidence that His power and might will be evident, and that our earnest prayers will be heeded by the One who promises such.

thanks in advance for YOUR prayers. if you want, there's a group on facebook titled "marcstrong" that you could join and show support. that's honestly where i'm getting most of my information right now. if i find something else out, i'll update. thank you, prayer warriors. you have never failed me before, and neither has He.

love. baby.

there are times in life when you have to admit some of your deepest, darkest secrets. this is one of those times. i am a huge dave matthews band fan. there, i said it.

i usually try to cover up this fact these days, because i don't like to be typecast by others or to limit myself into not trying out other music. but the fact remains the same, i am as big a fan as anyone out there.

monday night, i attended the dmb concert in atlanta. this last minute opportunity (which i am VERY grateful for, thank you lauren) was completely unexpected, and almost not possible with my work schedule. but, i knew i had to fit it in, and i'm really glad i did. i may have had a few issues with the setlist overall, but i heard old live favorites like tripping billes, ants marching, bartender, and seek up, and got to enjoy some newer gems like you might die trying, cornbread, sledgehammer (peter gabriel cover), and so damn lucky (maybe the surprise highlight of the night). the show was full of energy, even from the lawn, and i'm so pumped to hopefully hit another show soon.

i sometimes take for granted the amount of talent that this band exudes. carter beauford makes me wish i were a drummer. jeff coffin made me forget about leroi moore being out with injury. rashawn ross makes the trumpet cool again. this band makes me proud to be a musician.

welcome back.

i'm a little behind on my blogging, on account of me being away from internet service for a week or so. i've been at camp sumatanga, near gallant, alabama, at a little event called music and arts week.

beginning the summer before my 7th grade year, i began to go to MAW (as i will affectionately call it from here on out). my older brother had always attended and it was obvious that it was one of his favorite things throughout the year, so i was pumped to get to start going myself (i didn't get the memo that there was a children's camp too, and that i could have been going for the 4 or 5 years prior). it only took that first year to get me hooked, though.

now, i know that the idea of a music camp where you have to sit through multiple 2-hour rehearsals for 5 days doesn't sound appealing to most people, but i thrive in that. it's where i belong, where i'm at my best.

and the people. my goodness, the people. i can only begin to describe the relationships i've formed at camp over the years. most of these people i only see once a year. but they're still some of my best friends. i wish i could communicate more clearly how much many of these people mean to me.

i went to camp 6 times in middle school and high school. it used to be the greatest week of my year. the memories i had from those times were countless and unmatched. but a few summers ago i made a bad decision.

i skipped camp the summer after my senior year.

i think there were a few reasons for this. but the main one was, it was my last summer home, and i wanted to spend as much time as possible with my friends and jennifer before i went off to auburn. i don't regret that i had that time with those friends and with my girlfriend at the time, but i definitely regret missing camp, because here's what happened:

i forgot. it only took that one year of missing it to forget how much of an impact MAW had had on me. those people, the music, the time with the Lord. and once i missed it that one year, i went on to miss it the next year (although i would have had to be a counselor). and then last summer i also missed it, for a little trip that i took that changed my life.

so this year, i was approached about making my return. i'll say that i was somewhat excited, but not like i was in high school, because i really had forgotten.

but let me tell you, friends, camp sumatanga kicked my ass this week. in the best way possible. it took hardly any time for me to remember how incredible of a week MAW is. being a counselor for the first time was a little different, but in an awesome way. those 15 or so counselors that i got to spend so much time with are such an encouragement to me, in many different ways. the laughter we shared was endless. the music we made was beautiful and pleasing to the Lord. the campers were less in number, but no less in greatness. the new people i met, counselors, staff, and campers included, will forever be important to me in one way or another.

i know that from now on, as long as that camp is alive and kicking, i have to be there. i already miss so many people so much, and i've only been back for 2 days.

praise Him for camp sumatanga. praise Him for music and arts week. praise Him for friends, new and old. praise Him for music. praise HIM.

(sorry for the rob bell-ish choppiness of this post)