help my unbelief.

four years ago at camp sumatanga (music and arts week), ken berg brought an arrangement of the hymn jesus, lover of my soul as one of the songs to be performed for the friday concert. besides the song being beautiful (more on that later), there was a little fun surprise on the cover that grabbed my attention. a small, abstract picture of Jesus wearing a crown of thorns. almost too strange to comprehend. my first thought was, "hey, that would be a cool tattoo." after camp, i made sure and kept a copy of that music close at hand, just in case.

fast-forward 2 1/2 years, to december 2006. the time finally came when i convinced myself i needed a tattoo. my mind immediately went to that picture on that piece of music. a week later, the picture was tattooed on the inside of my left wrist, never to leave that spot again for as long as i shall live.



i got addicted, as everyone seems to do, and a month later i had another tattoo, this time on the inside of my right forearm. it's the very last words of mark 9:24, which says "immediately the father of the child cried out and said, 'i believe, help my unbelief!" the story is a common one about our quite uncommon Savior, but this verse/phrase spoke to me in a huge way. it's sort of a strange thing to get tattooed on yourself, at first thought: "help my unbelief". but, if we're honest, i think we all, as believers, struggle with some sort of unbelief countless times every day. i mean, come on, many of the things we claim are crazy. and not only that aspect, but another big thing is my lack of trust in Him. i can say i believe stuff all day long, but am i really relying on God all the time for EVERYTHING? do i earnestly seek His guidance in every step i take (and every move i make... $1 to sting)? i definitely do not, as much as i should, and to me, that's unbelief. to Him, that's unbelief. plain and simple. therefore, i felt it warranted a constant reminder on my arm. as a bonus, i decided to do it justice and have it in greek, the original language of the new testament.

(edit: i tried to copy and paste the greek, but it didn't work right when i posted. sorry. check here, it's the last phrase.)

it reads something like "boh-ay-theh-o eg-o ho a-pis-tee-ah". i went back earlier today and tried an analyze the original a little more for a more literal meaning, but it pretty much means what it says: help my unbelief. aid my unfaithfulness.

it's crazy how permanent they are. i mean, they're gonna be there FOREVER. unless of course i want to pay a lot of money and go through a lot of pain to have it removed. and there are days that i regret them, but overall i wouldn't go back and do it differently.

and now i'm thinking about a third.

do you like tattoos? what's the coolest one you've seen? i'd love some feedback/ideas.

Jesus, Lover of my soul,
let me to Thy bosom fly,
while the nearer waters roll,
while the tempest still is high:
hide me, O my Savior, hide,
till the storm of life be past;
safe into the haven guide,
O receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none,
hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
leave, ah! leave me not alone,
still support and comfort me!
All my trust on Thee is stayed;
all my help from Thee I bring;
cover my defenseless head
with the shadow of Thy wing.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want;
mor than all in thee I find;
raise the fallen, cheer the faint,
heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name;
I am all unrighteousness;
false and full of sin I am;
Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found,
grace to cover all my sin;
let the healing streams abound,
make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art,
freely let me take of thee:
spring Thou up within my heart,
rise to all eternity.